When Morrigan first Thwapped me, She told me that She’d chosen me before I was even born, but didn’t reveal Herself until that point.

I got angry. Not only had my childhood been terrible, but the rest of my life hadn’t been a picnic either. Not to mention, I’d been following Pagan paths for a while then — at least 10 years — and I’d felt lost for the past two years. Complete crisis of faith. The least She could have done, I felt, was show up a little earlier and let me know I wasn’t alone.

I confronted Her about it, and She told me that She wanted strong weapons, strong tools — and how could I be strong if I hadn’t been forged, if I hadn’t gone through fire and lived?

While an answer like that would have made me more angry had it come from a mortal, hearing it from Her just made sense, and my anger disappeared.

The gods can manipulate us, and play games with us…and in the case of patrons, I have to accept it’s because They probably know a bit better than we do. How many times have I had to manipulate my Sim in the Sims to get them to do what was actually good for them? (And how hard was it to get them to get to work on time — am I right?)

There’s a lot of analogies between our relationships with the gods and our relationships with other people floating out there, and to some degree that’s valid. When asking questions about the relationship it’s a good idea to ask yourself the same questions about similar relationships with mortals.

However, I think that leads us to forget that the gods are more powerful than we are and They do know more than we do. That doesn’t always mean They’ll use that knowledge for our betterment, but I think if a god has chosen you to be patron to, Zie’s not going to hide information from you or manipulate you for shits and giggles. I have to believe there’s a purpose to what Morrigan, Brighid, and Manannan do or don’t tell me — that They do it to hone me into a better tool, so I can better do Their work.

And this is quite obviously a relationship I couldn’t have with another mortal, because I’m sorry — there’s no way any mortal has the same sort of knowledge about me that the gods I’m devoted to do, and there’s no way another mortal could possibly know what’s better for me and my path the way my gods do.

So at some point, I have to stop treating the gods like other mortals and start treating Them like what they are: gods. The analogy stops working at some point, and I really think the analogy of game player to Sims becomes more accurate. Just like a Sim, I can’t see the gods’ plan for me. Just like a Sim I may get angry or belligerent when I think They’re asking too much of me. Just like a Sim, I’ll end up doing what They want anyway, and usually I’ll end up happier for it — in the long run.

I am a tool for Them, as a Sim is a tool for my entertainment. But I do believe They have something grander than entertainment in mind when They work on me. I don’t know what that is for sure, but I have some ideas — and I’m happy to be working for Their causes.