I made a commitment to myself at some point this year. Not a new year’s resolution, because I don’t believe in those and it’s a stupid time to make resolutions, anyway, but a commitment.
I committed to being brutally honest.
You weren’t already? you all exclaim, shocked and horrified.
No, I wasn’t. I didn’t talk about a lot of things, I edited myself all the time, I made sure to be nice and non-offensive. Or whatever. I walked on eggshells made of glass.
And then I realized that that sort of attitude serves no one, least of all myself. The revolution will not be nice. I am not doing greater good by tiptoeing around the hard subjects, by lying about myself and my past. I am doing greater bad. The more lies I heap onto my life, the less I am living the attitude of the knife. I have to be ready to cut.
So I will always be brutally honest here, at Innocence and Immanence. About myself, my practice, my family past. If I cannot be brutally honest about a subject, I won’t write about it. As simple as that.
And if you find there are long hiatuses in between posts, it is because I am having trouble finding the words with which I can be brutally honest, and I do not want to post half-honestly.
And if ever I find that I have been lying to myself unawares, and therefore to you all, I will come clean.
I think this is awesome, honestly. One should always try to be true to themselves and everyone else- even if the road is harder than hiding things. I think in the long run, it’s more rewarding that way.
This is a difficult path to go.
Honesty is a virtue, but while the kids are taught this, people are not honest about honesty.
Honesty is subdued all the time to etiquette, custom, ‘good’ behaviour… when children are taught to be ‘honest’, they are actually taught to be it in homeopathic dosage and how to apply lies in the right way.
Best of luck with your commitment. 🙂
Right on! I love, love, love this! I’m sick to death of being *nice* all the time.
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