On hexing, Nazis, and rape

[Content Warning for basically everything.] This post needs some background. First bit of background: I am a descendant of people who survived Nazi Europe. My Oma, a nurse in a hospital that had to keep 50% each of Axis and Ally soldiers at all times, lest they get bombed by either side. My Opa, a …

The Morrigan Chose Me…and I chose Her right back

There’s this idea in neo-Pagan or polytheist circles that the gods choose us, we don’t choose them. Sometimes that’s correct — sometimes, yes, the gods do search us out without us needing to reach out first. In that case, They chose us; we didn’t choose Them. But we still can. When I first met the …

Motivation (or, How I Need to Trick Myself to Get Shit Done)

I’m trying to find ways to motivate myself right now. It’s not easy. I’ve been stuck in a depressive funk for a while and I’m not sure why. Even on days when my mood is stable/okay, I’m still unmotivated to do anything. I keep thinking I should really reorganize and clean the pantry, I should …

Shrine to Hestia, March 17th

I’ve started an actual daily practice: lighting candles and giving coffee or tea (whatever my morning beverage is) to Hestia (who receives the first offering every day, traditionally, and the last offering every evening — I haven’t done that, not sure if I will; spoons, etc). I don’t say anything. It’s a silent ritual. That …

Poison in the Bones

It took me a year, but I finally followed through on scrubbing the poison from my bones. It happened at Greaters, which I can’t tell you the details of, but I can tell you my experience. I sobbed in the arms of a god who was Two, and I was scrubbed clean; allowed to let …

Going the Distance

Proper posture hurts. When I align my spine correctly, I have to brace myself against a wall with my hands. My breathing comes short and I get dizzy. Sweat breaks out on my brow. Tears spring to my eyes. I can’t hold it for long. I know I must hold proper posture. It is not …

A Call from Brighid & Morrigan: Justice for Savita

My entire path is about activism. I’d be lying if I said otherwise. Morrigan and Brighid want me to do Their work, and They want it done everyday. They want me to be a witch, and They have been very clear that to be a witch — to do Their work — I must also …

When you have wounds on the astral body….

This post is more rambling and looking for answers than a solid, coherent piece of writing. Also I talk about maggots and worms and crap (not actual crap; crap used as a substitute for stuff) and it’s pretty gross, so if it creeps you out the way it creeps me out you may not want …

Let Go and Let the Gods

My old church had a saying: “Let go, and let God.” Even though I was pagan while attending said church, I always loved that saying, and tried to apply it in my daily life. It’s difficult. Letting go and letting the gods. Putting faith in anything except yourself. When you spend [what feels like] your …

Cleaning the Storm Windows

That’s not a metaphor, strictly speaking. I did actually spend the greater part of yesterday and some of Saturday cleaning storm windows in my mother’s house. But I think it could be a great metaphor. The house is old, and creaky, and the porch wood has warped with the constant leaks and floods. We wrestled …