Monstrous Ancestry: Channeling the Better Parts of Our Forebears; Transforming the Worst

This post originally appeared on Patreon on Saturday, February 9th, 2019. This morning I channeled my bio-sire in my kitchen. Clothed in woolen socks, boxers, and a sweatshirt, I cooked pancakes on the stove and burned them black. (Well, ok, dark brown. I lack a proper griddle.) This was the way he always did them …

Self-love is a verb

Part of our TCBP topic for February is Self-Love, so I’m attempting to write about it. It’s hard. I’m finding it as hard as loving myself, honestly, and I find that really freaking difficult. I’ve spent most of my life feeling like an unlovable monster — unworthy, unfuckable, ugly, stupid, wrong, dangerous to those around …

Maenad

Why? Of course because He is beloved to me; of course that. Of course because I am one of His worshippers. Probably I need no other reason. Why? But there are other reasons. Always other reasons; not that I should have to explain myself why I wish to align myself with women who rip men …

Kore: Accepting the Past, Preparing for the Future

This is an article I wrote for Immanence Magazine earlier this year, though I don’t know if it made it in or if the magazine even came out in the past few months. I’ve decided to use it as my Kore post for the Pagan Blog Project. It’s written for a non-pagan, lay-audience, as an …

Poison in the Bones

It took me a year, but I finally followed through on scrubbing the poison from my bones. It happened at Greaters, which I can’t tell you the details of, but I can tell you my experience. I sobbed in the arms of a god who was Two, and I was scrubbed clean; allowed to let …

Reclaiming Bodily Sovereignty

Between the ages of 19 and 21 I was in my first ever relationship, shortly after having sex for the first time ever (and kissing someone in that way for the first time ever — happened the same night I had sex for the first time, which I do not at all regret: go big …

The Severance

I winged the ritual. It actually turned out better that way. I was in no state earlier today to write anything coherent or useful — I’d been up all night. I finally crashed at 5:30pm and woke up at midnight so I could do the ritual. This ritual was to sever astral connections between me …

When you have wounds on the astral body….

This post is more rambling and looking for answers than a solid, coherent piece of writing. Also I talk about maggots and worms and crap (not actual crap; crap used as a substitute for stuff) and it’s pretty gross, so if it creeps you out the way it creeps me out you may not want …

Quan Yin, compassion, and lovingkindness

A while ago I was having tea and knitting time with a school friend of mine and her parents. They’re lovely, amazing people, and I got to talk a lot with them about my work for the Gods — specifically Brighid. I got an email from my friend’s mother a while after our meeting, and …

It’s the little things.

Trigger warning: rape, eating disorders, fatphobia, abuse I have a lot of trauma triggers. Some of them are big. Some, not so big. The big ones are ones more likely to be shared with a lot of other people — rape, abuse, etc — and as such are ones that I actually talk about, as …