When the Magick Dies

I skipped Beltane advent. I didn’t want to. I just did. I forgot about it until the first week of it had passed, and then I forgot again, and again, until it was April 29th and I had no plans for Heksennacht or Beltane. Now it’s May 1st and I still don’t know. See, this …

Little Things

On Wednesday I woke up with intense pain in my neck and a massive, pounding headache. My plans for working on kitchen clean up and thus my year long project went out the window. So I took the drugs I could take, and waited for things to fade. Eventually I had enough energy to do …

The Samhain that Wasn’t

Following up on a successful, if belated, Loafmass, this year I wanted to have a good Samhain celebration. I tried to get to it by October 31st, but that didn’t happen — work ate my face last month and I was supremely busy. That’s okay, I thought. Samhain season lasts until Remembrance Day for me …

My Polytheism

I am sort of fried today. Didn’t sleep well, despite the CPAP; think I’ll have to lay off the coffee so late at night. I thought music would help me write but it just distracted me, and I’m sitting here trying to get my thoughts on the page and making typos every other word and …

Ebooks, Disability, and the Morrigan

You may have seen my Twitter rant the other week (later c&ped to my FB page in chronological order, for easier reading), when I started talking about how pagan booksellers need to provide ebooks, or they’re contributing to (dis)ableism within the greater pagan community. Here’s an expansion on that. Ableism (disableism across the pond) is …

World Suicide Prevention Day 2015

I don’t know. There was a big post I wanted to do about my Oma and my mom and my aunt and how suicide/suicidal ideation/suicide attempts runs in our family, at least on the female/FAAB side, and how Oma would have appreciated that her birthday is also World Suicide Prevention Day, and how Mom and …

Places where the gods are NOT

So I was thinking about my wording in my post from the other day, about how my faith has helped me in difficult times: In my faith I’m well aware that the gods are not omnipotent, nor omniscient. (Omnipresent? maybe, but not in the way it’s usually meant when speaking of any particular deity, I …

Keep Moving, Keep Singing

Sometimes music puts me in a semi trance state. This only works if I’m moving; stillness fucks it up. Yesterday I tried to enter a stillness+music trance. It worked, for a second. And then my stomach muscles convulsed; I twitched, jerked forward like someone had hit me. This happens when I sit still for too …

Motivation (or, How I Need to Trick Myself to Get Shit Done)

I’m trying to find ways to motivate myself right now. It’s not easy. I’ve been stuck in a depressive funk for a while and I’m not sure why. Even on days when my mood is stable/okay, I’m still unmotivated to do anything. I keep thinking I should really reorganize and clean the pantry, I should …

Embodiment while broken

I never really noticed how much of my religion is physical until I couldn’t do it anymore. I broke my leg and possibly did some tendon/ligament damage in the knee — unknown at this point — over a week ago. On July 4th, ironically — there is no freedom in this situation. There’s a whole …