My Polytheism

I am sort of fried today. Didn’t sleep well, despite the CPAP; think I’ll have to lay off the coffee so late at night. I thought music would help me write but it just distracted me, and I’m sitting here trying to get my thoughts on the page and making typos every other word and …

30 Days of Paganism: Pantheon — Hellenic Gods

I don’t honor all the gods of the Hellenic pantheon. There’s some evidence that They prefer you take the pantheon as a whole, but I have a geas on me from my Father that I shall have no interaction with Poseidon, unless I am absolutely forced into a situation where it is unavoidable — at …

30 Days of Paganism: Deity Gender

If you’ve spent any length of time here you know I could ramble on about gender for a loooong time (though I’m going to try to keep it short this time)…and that what I say now is totally subject to change a week, a month, or ten years down the road. My ideas regarding gender …

Self-love is a verb

Part of our TCBP topic for February is Self-Love, so I’m attempting to write about it. It’s hard. I’m finding it as hard as loving myself, honestly, and I find that really freaking difficult. I’ve spent most of my life feeling like an unlovable monster — unworthy, unfuckable, ugly, stupid, wrong, dangerous to those around …

There is no such thing as a square god

This post is in response to something Star Foster wrote recently, which frankly is full of vicim-blamey, ableist, classist nonsense. But don’t let me tell you what to think! Read it all right here. Comments aren’t enabled, so instead of politely pointing out how I think she’s wrong in the comments (yes, I am polite …

Gratitude and Healing

Amor vincit omnia. I was going to write out a very detailed post on how grateful I am to everyone who helped me get to SMF and to the gods Who changed me while I was there, but then I realized that I didn’t know how anonymous most of the donors wished to remain, so …

Poison in the Bones

It took me a year, but I finally followed through on scrubbing the poison from my bones. It happened at Greaters, which I can’t tell you the details of, but I can tell you my experience. I sobbed in the arms of a god who was Two, and I was scrubbed clean; allowed to let …

Hearing the Gods: self-deception is the enemy

How can I tell what the gods are saying? I’m in a relatively small camp of people who are ‘god-bothered’. We’ve usually been thwapped by gods and have really intimate relationships with Them, and many of us have conversations with those gods that are pretty distinct. (If you’re going to get jealous or upset because …

Dionysos, the Liberator

Things I Learned the Night of the New Moon Flying ointment + wine combo makes you think that nothing much is happening while you’re dancing and worshipping at the altar of the Liberator; it’s the hangover that brings clarity. Said hangover will consist of feeling like someone beat all your muscles with hard sticks for …

A Day with Erin in San Francisco and Berkeley

Wednesday evening I spent at my brother’s house, playing an amazing video game called Journey. The next day Mom and her friend Chris picked me up and I went to go meet Erinnightwalker¬†(and her bf) for the first time in real life. She gave me awesome gifts, because she’s an awesome person (though this should …