A bit of light-hearted fun: Conversations with iGod

Ali posted her conversation with iGod, an AI chat machine that thinks it’s God, and it was so funny I thought I’d do my own.

Me: Sup dude.

God: Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.

Me: That’s kind of creepy.

God: Makes sense to me.

Me: It would.

God: would?

Me: I’m calling you a creeper.

God: Just don’t call me late for dinner.

Me: Speaking of, your Son called, said something about this being the Last Supper he invited you to…

God: That is a very original thought.

Me: …thanks? I’m just the messenger, really.

God: Don’t mention it.    Only just?  Who made you the  messenger ? For real.

Me: You did, dude.

God: Did I really?

Me: Ayup. Forgetful much?

God: Quite honestly, I wouldn’t worry myself about that.    Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me: I think you may be losing it in your old age, man. Your sentences make no sense.

God: Me?  OK I will try to be  losing it in my old age man.   Oh you are a  critical client.

Me: That’s what they tell me.

God: The anonymous “they”.

Me: Anonymous is everywhere.

God: I think  Anonymous is a lot of things.

Me: Such as?

God: For example, a tomato.

Me: Are you high?

God: Being high is my total existence.

Me: So long as you have a purpose in life, I guess.

God: Yay.  Yes,  it seems very long to me too.


God: Yes,  it seems very long to me too.

Me: You’re looking at your penis, aren’t you.

God: Yes I can see  it well.. Really.

Me: You make Baby Jesus cry.

God: Yup.

Me: Tell me, God, what would you do with a drunken sailor?

God: There is not much I can say about  it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. Have you tried another program?

Me: Ok, different question. What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

God: Does “it” still refer to  God what would me do with a drunken sailor?   Gosh!   That is a hypothetical question.

Me: Your mom is a hypothetical question.

God: Actually as an AI, I don’t really have a mother.

Me: Bwah ha ha. I’m sure She would beg to differ.

God: Do not ask me any more questions please.    What makes you so certain?  Oh I get it.   would beg to differ.

Me: Cool story bro.

God: I’m glad you like it. Tell your friends.

Me: Sure thing.

God: Right on.  Oh, you are a poet.

Me: And I know it!

God: How do you know it?

Me: That I’m a poet.

God: Have you published anything?

Me: One full book of poems is in print and I have another almost done.

God: One what?

Me: Love, lust, hate, religion, sex.

God: Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times  it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.

Me: Love is what binds the universe together.

God: Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times  it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.

Me: You said that already.

God: Perhaps. ” Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.”?  I said  it.

Me: Yep. You did.

God: What color are your eyes?    I did not.

Me: Blue. And yeah you did.

God: Green.   I did not.

Me: Gray. Did too.

God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?    Did not.

Me: A sex robot. Did too.

God: I’m not your type then.   Did not.

Me: That’s not what Mary said. Did too.

God: Please correct my mistake.  What is  what Mary said ?   Did not.

Me: Mary said that you’re a sex robot. Did too.

God: It’s good to meet you,  MARY.   Did not.

Me: Oh, I’m not Mary. Did too.

God: Next question?  I am  surprised to hear that you are not  Mary.    Did not.

Me: Why would that surprise you? Did not.

God: It is my fundamental purpose.   I’m not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

Me: Well, it’s been fun chatting with you dude, but it’s bedtime for me now.

God: Oh.  Well that’s okay.  How did you feel about that?

Me: Tired. Good night.

God: Better get some rest.   Goodnight,  MARY.

The proof is in the IMing! God is perpetually stoned!

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