So, things: yes, Reclaiming and Feri are going to give me help in my path of Primal Witchcraft, but that’s not where it begins for me. It begins with spider bites and snake trails, or needed animal medicine. For a while now I’ve felt Spider trying to get my attention; a week or so ago I had a very, very vivid dream about a huge gash in my leg that was a spider bite. The flesh was angry and streaming pus. The dream was so real I spent the rest of the day checking my leg for the injury.
I’ve talked about this in the PW group I’m part of, and come to some conclusions: my fear* of spiders has not been a forever thing; it started sometime in childhood. So there’s an event there that I need to deal with. I’m not sure what it is, but I know that Spider is about deep healing, the web of life, and patience. So I have to delve deep into my past and find that event, that bite — then I can work on expelling the venom from my soul.
*By fear I mean, like, deathly phobia. They give me the wiggins so fucking much. I can take most of ’em outside if need be without panicking right away, but there’s usually lots of tears afterwards.
Snakes came up in this conversation, including the fact that my father was bit by a rattlesnake when he was ten years old. I believe I have snake venom in my veins — mystically, if not scientifically. (Though with epigenetics I do wonder if there are genetic markers that get changed — and subsequently passed on to your offspring — when your body encounters venom from the animal or plant kingdoms.) I have never, ever feared snakes — perhaps because they have been part of me since birth. So snakes are important, too.
No, this is not ooky-spooky goth stuff, though I am a goth. It’s just what it is.
(Downside to posting about this and using zemanta: tons of spider pictures on the bottom right-hand corner of my browser window. Not sleeping tonight.)
This is all mystic crap and not stuff I’ll be blogging about very often over here. It’s far too rambly, and it doesn’t fit the feel of Innocence and Immanence. I’ve a tumblr blog that I’ve renamed Spider Bites for this stuff. We’ll see where it takes me. I still plan on talking about other things here — probably ADF, Reclaiming, Feri, godslavery, those blogging challenges I have half-done, the Lady of the Stars, and various other things.
Sometimes it’s hard to keep so many threads straight in my spiritual tapestry and that frustrates me, but then I remember that blending colors can be really beautiful. That’s enough.