So, things: yes, Reclaiming and Feri are going to give me help in my path of Primal Witchcraft, but that’s not where it begins for me. It begins with spider bites and snake trails, or needed animal medicine. For a while now I’ve felt Spider trying to get my attention; a week or so ago I had a very, very vivid dream about a huge gash in my leg that was a spider bite. The flesh was angry and streaming pus. The dream was so real I spent the rest of the day checking my leg for the injury.
I’ve talked about this in the PW group I’m part of, and come to some conclusions: my fear* of spiders has not been a forever thing; it started sometime in childhood. So there’s an event there that I need to deal with. I’m not sure what it is, but I know that Spider is about deep healing, the web of life, and patience. So I have to delve deep into my past and find that event, that bite — then I can work on expelling the venom from my soul.
*By fear I mean, like, deathly phobia. They give me the wiggins so fucking much. I can take most of ’em outside if need be without panicking right away, but there’s usually lots of tears afterwards.
Snakes came up in this conversation, including the fact that my father was bit by a rattlesnake when he was ten years old. I believe I have snake venom in my veins — mystically, if not scientifically. (Though with epigenetics I do wonder if there are genetic markers that get changed — and subsequently passed on to your offspring — when your body encounters venom from the animal or plant kingdoms.) I have never, ever feared snakes — perhaps because they have been part of me since birth. So snakes are important, too.
No, this is not ooky-spooky goth stuff, though I am a goth. It’s just what it is.
(Downside to posting about this and using zemanta: tons of spider pictures on the bottom right-hand corner of my browser window. Not sleeping tonight.)
This is all mystic crap and not stuff I’ll be blogging about very often over here. It’s far too rambly, and it doesn’t fit the feel of Innocence and Immanence. I’ve a tumblr blog that I’ve renamed Spider Bites for this stuff. We’ll see where it takes me. I still plan on talking about other things here — probably ADF, Reclaiming, Feri, godslavery, those blogging challenges I have half-done, the Lady of the Stars, and various other things.
Sometimes it’s hard to keep so many threads straight in my spiritual tapestry and that frustrates me, but then I remember that blending colors can be really beautiful. That’s enough.
I really don’t think we need to keep the threads all straight.
Our paths are crooked after all, so it’s only logical that our journaling of them is the same. ;p
I like that.
Sometimes I feel like I should be more eloquent and coherent in my blogs. But I’m not coherent, and am only accidentally eloquent. So maybe I should just be honest. 🙂
I feel the same. I want everything to be neat and structured, but honestly – life is messy. And so are we. 😉
When you were two and three, you were very fond of a toy spider and her stick-to-the-window web. One day you took her, web and all, to school (you were in your first Montessori year–this must have occurred pre-accident). Greeting you at the door, Miss L shook your hand and asked of your spider, “What’s his name?”
You answered, “She’s a girl and she just ate her husband.”
Miss L. struggled to keep a straight face, as often happened with you.
Oh my gods! I remember that! I didn’t before, but you mentioning it made the memory surface.
ROFL! Katje, this means you have better “I was a Baby Feminist” cred than I do.
And I’m guessing – from her ability to yarn about your early childhood – that Eva is the person who inculcated that in you at such a young age, and about whom I’ve heard many good things. ::waves at Eva::
Comments are closed.