I don’t know. There was a big post I wanted to do about my Oma and my mom and my aunt and how suicide/suicidal ideation/suicide attempts runs in our family, at least on the female/FAAB side, and how Oma would have appreciated that her birthday is also World Suicide Prevention Day, and how Mom and I shared a laugh over it, because we share the same sense of gallows humour.
But it turned out that I couldn’t write any of that; not the way I wanted to write about it. What I thought would make a meaningful blog post is better relegated to a short anecdote.
Instead, I’m going to share this song with you. I was listening to it yesterday kinda on repeat and…it spoke to me of hope. (I started listening to it on repeat because it was on this playlist, which I found appropriate to listen to on my Oma’s Ancestor Day.) And it’s now on my Songs of the Gods playlist on Youtube, which if I’m going to be honest is really just a lot of Florence + the Machine. Hope, in the face of wanting to die, or thinking you do — yes. That’s of the gods, for me.
(The video is pretty cool too, but unrelated to the message that I got from the song. I think. I don’t know. I haven’t seen Snow White and the Huntsman yet. Maybe it’s totally related.)
I’ll see you tomorrow.
~Morag