Yesterday was basically a lost day, so I didn’t get a chance to type up anything about the ritual I did on Wednesday. (I was super super tired yesterday. I’m surprised I accomplished anything at all. No spoons.)
So my ritual on Wednesday was a little different. This time, I started with lighting three candles, instead of just two. I then cast a sphere, which I’ve not done in a while, because I felt I should start practicing that again and get good at it. The one I do is Reclaiming/Feri-esque, but I didn’t remind myself of how it’s actually done before I did it so I’m not sure if I botched it or not.
I started in the east and went around to the north, then did above, below, and center. The sphere is cast with blue Feri fire.
By the air that is Her breath,
By the fire of Her bright spirit,
By the waters of Her womb,
By the earth that is Her body,
By all the powers above,
And all the powers below,
and the Centre, which is the circumference of all,
this sphere is cast.
I have to admit I don’t really like the bit for the west/water. I’m used to saying it, but it rubs me the wrong way (and has for a while). This is no doubt because, while I’m fine using feminine-as-neutral pronouns, or calling the underlying force in the universe the Goddess, I still see it as beyond gender or sex. Giving Her a womb essentializes her to having a body we classify as female, and…it bugs me.
So I’m thinking of ways to change that. There are other “waters” in the body, after all, that one could use — tears, sweat, spit, blood. By the waters of Her tears; by Her flowing blood; by the sweat on Her brow; by Her life-giving spit…. There are options, is what I’m saying, that don’t make Her body “female”.
Anyway. After casting the sphere, I did my Chenrezig meditation — two rounds around the mala. I’ve been trying to make a habit of doing two rounds, three times a week (Tues/Weds/Thurs). This week I made 2/3 days, so, not bad. Next week I’ll do 3/3, and when I’ve got that habit down for a while, I’ll up it to 4 days a week.
I then went around each set of prayer beads with my prayers to Brighid, the Morrigan, and Manannan. I feel like this part of my ritual needs more. They need more. I’m not sure what though.
After all this I took down the sphere (starting in the centre and moving backwards), but I’m pretty sure I fucked up the directions. I did my ritual late, and was pretty tired. And then I blew out the candles and went and started this post, by which I mean I wrote in the title and hit “Save Draft”.
Next week: I’m attempting to do the ritual in the morning, before I do much else for the day (except showering). And I’m figuring out what else I can do for the Three.
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