The Wounded Healer

The concept of the wounded healer is a really helpful one for me. I am a fucking mess. I have mental breakdowns on a weekly basis; I often forget to take my meds several days in a row; I basically can’t handle normal human interaction like telephone calls or just, you know, having people see …

Samhain, part 2: Embracing God the Father

Remember when I said Manannan wasn’t a thwap? I’m thinking perhaps I was wrong. He’s been very clear, the past month, what He wants from me this Samhain. He wants me to to do a ritual in which I accept His foster-fatherhood over me, and renounce my biological sire for good. Mind, I did do …

The Severance

I winged the ritual. It actually turned out better that way. I was in no state earlier today to write anything coherent or useful — I’d been up all night. I finally crashed at 5:30pm and woke up at midnight so I could do the ritual. This ritual was to sever astral connections between me …

When you have wounds on the astral body….

This post is more rambling and looking for answers than a solid, coherent piece of writing. Also I talk about maggots and worms and crap (not actual crap; crap used as a substitute for stuff) and it’s pretty gross, so if it creeps you out the way it creeps me out you may not want …

It’s the little things.

Trigger warning: rape, eating disorders, fatphobia, abuse I have a lot of trauma triggers. Some of them are big. Some, not so big. The big ones are ones more likely to be shared with a lot of other people — rape, abuse, etc — and as such are ones that I actually talk about, as …

Becoming My Own Person — a ritual with Persephone and Hades

A week ago Friday I posted about Persephone, and becoming my own person. I said I was going to do a ritual to cut myself away from my abusive father, because I was tired of being hurt by him. I did the ritual on Monday the 13th, the eve of my 26th birthday, the last …

Quote of the Day, August 17th, 2012

Faith can be a sickle too, and it can cut the vines that continuously impede my growth and suffocate. There is much work to do in tending such a seed. Cleaning, weeding, pest control, over extending metaphor control. But it is very worth the work to tend such a perfect and beautiful potential. —Odelia Ivy

Persephone, and becoming your own person

When I was a child I was obsessed with the myth of Persephone’s descent. I read all the sanitized versions, of course, and so came to associate Her descent with my own — having to visit my abusive father for access weekends and, later, seasons. (Family law is mainly concerned with working around the needs and …

Expelling the Venom

A lesson I have yet to learn: other people’s advice is never as good as my own intuition.  On Saturday night I went with some friends to their belated Full Moon ritual. They’re just starting their ATC practice, so it was the first time they were doing an ATC Full Moon ritual. It was pretty …

Flamekeeping: July 7th to 8th

For shift today and last night I’ve written a few blog posts, attended a full moon ritual, cleaned my writing space, healed a part of myself, did dishes, did laundry, and talked about Brighid with Danny. We concluded She’s the Goddess of Cheese  and thus eating cheese was appropriate worship of Her. That’s our story …