Following up on a successful, if belated, Loafmass, this year I wanted to have a good Samhain celebration. I tried to get to it by October 31st, but that didn’t happen — work ate my face last month and I was supremely busy. That’s okay, I thought. Samhain season lasts until Remembrance Day for me …
Tag Archives: finding strength
Fleeing Father’s Day
Father’s day is hard for me. I’ve been trying to reclaim it in Manannan’s name, as He is my Father now. Since I cut my bio-sire out of my life and accepted Manannan’s offer to adopt me, I have been looking for ways to heal the deep wounds left by having a narcissistic sociopathic abuser …
What cannot be said will be wept
I feel as if I’ve spent an entire week crying; weeping out my anguish first for the betrayal of the mothers who once welcomed me, and today for the physical manifestation of that self-same hate. In the early hours of Sunday morning, a shooter tore up Pulse nightclub in Orlando, killing 50 and injuring at …
Welcome, 2016
2015 was a kind of crazy year for me. WordPress was kind enough to do the 2015 blogging report for this blog, because I have Jetpack enabled, and I found it reminded me to actually post something here. If you want to see Everyday Magic’s blogging year in review, you can do so here. What …
Motivation (or, How I Need to Trick Myself to Get Shit Done)
I’m trying to find ways to motivate myself right now. It’s not easy. I’ve been stuck in a depressive funk for a while and I’m not sure why. Even on days when my mood is stable/okay, I’m still unmotivated to do anything. I keep thinking I should really reorganize and clean the pantry, I should …
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Embodiment while broken
I never really noticed how much of my religion is physical until I couldn’t do it anymore. I broke my leg and possibly did some tendon/ligament damage in the knee — unknown at this point — over a week ago. On July 4th, ironically — there is no freedom in this situation. There’s a whole …
Self-love is a verb
Part of our TCBP topic for February is Self-Love, so I’m attempting to write about it. It’s hard. I’m finding it as hard as loving myself, honestly, and I find that really freaking difficult. I’ve spent most of my life feeling like an unlovable monster — unworthy, unfuckable, ugly, stupid, wrong, dangerous to those around …
Poison in the Bones
It took me a year, but I finally followed through on scrubbing the poison from my bones. It happened at Greaters, which I can’t tell you the details of, but I can tell you my experience. I sobbed in the arms of a god who was Two, and I was scrubbed clean; allowed to let …
Going the Distance
Proper posture hurts. When I align my spine correctly, I have to brace myself against a wall with my hands. My breathing comes short and I get dizzy. Sweat breaks out on my brow. Tears spring to my eyes. I can’t hold it for long. I know I must hold proper posture. It is not …
Samhain, part 2: Embracing God the Father
Remember when I said Manannan wasn’t a thwap? I’m thinking perhaps I was wrong. He’s been very clear, the past month, what He wants from me this Samhain. He wants me to to do a ritual in which I accept His foster-fatherhood over me, and renounce my biological sire for good. Mind, I did do …
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