The Severance

I winged the ritual. It actually turned out better that way. I was in no state earlier today to write anything coherent or useful — I’d been up all night. I finally crashed at 5:30pm and woke up at midnight so I could do the ritual. This ritual was to sever astral connections between me …

When you have wounds on the astral body….

This post is more rambling and looking for answers than a solid, coherent piece of writing. Also I talk about maggots and worms and crap (not actual crap; crap used as a substitute for stuff) and it’s pretty gross, so if it creeps you out the way it creeps me out you may not want …

Jukebox, mental illness, ritual, and community

then she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair and she dances out of time as slow as she can sway as long as she can say this dance is mine this dance is mine One of my favourite musical artists is Ani DiFranco. She’s a folk-rock-political singer-songwriter-righteous babe-freak. The first song I …

It’s the little things.

Trigger warning: rape, eating disorders, fatphobia, abuse I have a lot of trauma triggers. Some of them are big. Some, not so big. The big ones are ones more likely to be shared with a lot of other people — rape, abuse, etc — and as such are ones that I actually talk about, as …

Becoming My Own Person — a ritual with Persephone and Hades

A week ago Friday I posted about Persephone, and becoming my own person. I said I was going to do a ritual to cut myself away from my abusive father, because I was tired of being hurt by him. I did the ritual on Monday the 13th, the eve of my 26th birthday, the last …

Let Go and Let the Gods

My old church had a saying: “Let go, and let God.” Even though I was pagan while attending said church, I always loved that saying, and tried to apply it in my daily life. It’s difficult. Letting go and letting the gods. Putting faith in anything except yourself. When you spend [what feels like] your …

Persephone, and becoming your own person

When I was a child I was obsessed with the myth of Persephone’s descent. I read all the sanitized versions, of course, and so came to associate Her descent with my own — having to visit my abusive father for access weekends and, later, seasons. (Family law is mainly concerned with working around the needs and …

Expelling the Venom

A lesson I have yet to learn: other people’s advice is never as good as my own intuition.  On Saturday night I went with some friends to their belated Full Moon ritual. They’re just starting their ATC practice, so it was the first time they were doing an ATC Full Moon ritual. It was pretty …

Blood Sacrifice

Finally doing that B post that I was missing! Trigger warning for discussion of cutting. Warning for discussion of blood and blood sacrifice. On June 23rd, at sunset, I had a Landbinding shift. This is one of the once-every-20-days shift that I’ve come up with to complement my Flamekeeping shifts with Brighid — Landbinding is …

Being Brutally Honest

I made a commitment to myself at some point this year. Not a new year’s resolution, because I don’t believe in those and it’s a stupid time to make resolutions, anyway, but a commitment. I committed to being brutally honest. You weren’t already? you all exclaim, shocked and horrified. No, I wasn’t. I didn’t talk …